Well the willie week has decided to slander the pow again,.. this time linking us directly to the fellah who ripped the throat out of the rabit. You can see the article in the willie week,.. rouge of the week.
See you all at the show this coming first thursday the fifth of sept.
Coming up this Thursday night is the one and only ever popular unceasing abhorrent aberrational aggrandizement of flesh and bloodshed and faux fur that is the P . O . W . </font> SUPERHERO ACTION SHOW 10 this Thursday august 1st at Satyricon, (the oldest rock club on the west coast) Downtown Portland (between Couch and Davis on 6th ave.)
Come see men, women, babies, robots, monkeys, furry monsters and giant teddy bears beat the living crap out of each other for your amusement. Also,.. you can throw beer at them,.. which is a plus.
(try that at the Portland rep or meow meow)
This Thursday night for one night only,.. the fury the fake blood, the pies made of shaving cream , the half naked women and fully naked men,
oh and there's clowns too!
fun fun fun At Satyricon This Thursday night,.. 10pm
A week later and corno's again my god it was tedious arrived half way through to see sideshow do a very nice summersault onto the little fellow in the black lucha mask and cammo pants and listening to rodeo cole bitch about the guy who wouldn't v up
the main event was gentleman george vs. little nasty man so after a couple of minutes of stalling and general slow motion wrestling I got fed up and went shopping. I bought a couple of nice bowls for splosh
Corno's generally sucked today spent 20 bucks getting there and back and if it isn't a hell of a lot better next week I'm not going back
I made my second trip to the Corno's Sandy Barr wrestling Spectacular this week, with Garcia the goddamned dirty hippie, one of my housemates and fellow pow superhero action show heel.
We showed up late in the rain and alone as everyone else we knew assumed there would be no show.At 1:30 going on two the rain was still pissing down so we hit the conveniently located sandy barr flea market scabie farm and shopped for clown gear and girl scout badges, rolled around in piles of other peoples feces looking for decoder rings and porn movie props, and found very little inside that made that whopping 50 cent admission really seem reasonable.
We shopped until the hippie and I had bought all there was worth buying and ogled all the twelve year old girls there were to ogle and the stink of rotting hick and abscessed tooth began to become overpowering.
When we stumbled back into the lot, dancing Tommy Celcius , the hell bringer, was slowly flogging some quasi Anglo fucker named gentlemen something or other (as all bush league brits in any sport are required to call themselves until they find a better gimmick) Tommy beat him down with all the skill years of being dancing Tommy Celcius engenders in a man, and with a mighty Irish whip the limey hurled Tommy Celcius at mediocre speeds into the ropes, which responded detumescing under his mass, as a cable under the ring snapped clean and then came the screaming and the giggling and I honestly didn't pay much attention after that because it was too damned funny. According to Garcia this is the second ring tommy has broken. I like that Tommy C.
We ran to burger king for frozen lemonade while they fixed the ring and came back to that sideshow fellow working some fellah. I haven't the slightest idea who it was but there was a great deal of loud thumping and vertical suplexes and it was all followed up nicely by cc poison who stood around with the critter for a bit in the middle of the ring Cc worked the crowd, the only one who did really, and stood around trading flips and holds with critter to the cheers of Vinnie Clean hands (who finally showed near the end of the show) and the jeering of a passel of 8 year old girls. (One of whom being one of the more appealing performers this Sunday and who was very fond of the epithet 'losers',.. I think she could be the next Hallie Kate Eisenberg with a little guidance and the right kind of molding,.. maybe a ritalin habit to keep her on the leash)
Critter on the other hand has taught me that no matter how much I want to I should never get my name tattooed to side of any part of my body at all.
I'm not sure who won. In the end the security guard guy they had doing the announcing (who I believe was some kind of sex offender gimmick or some shit according to what people were saying) muttered incoherently for a bit and everyone left.
So assuming it was all done we went to my fathers place and got breakfast. the special was steak and eggs it was a bit rare but the waitress was hot. Later I took a nap.
all in all it was a Sunday afternoon I spent standing in the rain appreciating the splendor that is Portland wrestling and trying for the life of me to understand what the difference is that Garcia see's between what these guys do and what we do,.. other than that we are funnier and they have a midget.
Hopefully next week will rock just as much.
the only thing missing was a hot dog vendor and more guys from phcw, and maybe more than just three matches per show.
not as nice a good sandwich better than getting kicked in the balls.
( if I remember right rodeo cole from the now intensely defunct phcw wrestled too,.. whop the hell did he job to? anyone know?)
Dear Portland Mercury and all the little gals and fellahs who work there.
I know your rag is a particularly emo one and those of the cardigan sweater, bathtub chain necklace and moog set have trouble overcoming their reed bred pretentious enough to appreciate real art.
But it saddens me to see you letters from your readership along the lines of that sent in by Mr. Paul Bradley concerning The Oregon state boxing and wrestling commission Vs. My Valiant Bothers and Sisters of the POW superhero action show. I thought that your readership would have been a bit more level headed than that.
I know Some people need their art clearly labled. If it isn't in a frame or she isn't naked screaming and covered in mayonnaise they just don't get it.
It is beyond their definitions of what they are supposed to nod their heads and mutter at. Your own Katie Schmeir is one of them,.. and it seems to is Mr. Paul Bradley, who is falling into the same fallacy that Portland's local "real" professional wrestlers have, which is taking this utterly vulgar art form as something other than it is. (And theses same people are the ones who have insisted we be shut down and no longer soil their sacred group grope with our less than traditional interpretation)
Many people will have trouble choking down the idea that wrasslin' is an art form. Hell the people who love it would find that as offensive an idea as your young miss schmeir, who refers to our show in your paper, never having attended it, as "sweaty fat people shot-gunning beers and knocking each other unconscious" and deems it unfit to occupy the same stage as the repetitive whining of her favorite Goth boy bands.
Bradley States in his letter that the commission exists to protect wrestlers. First and foremost this is a lie. and I must assume it was told intentionally to mislead. The commission exists to create income, and to prevent the big production companies from playing in Oregon if they don't want to play by Oregon's rules.
The fact is the Oregon state boxing wrestling commission extracts 6% of the door from any event they license (or whatever percentage they damn well feel like if you are an amateur organization) This isn't income tax, it is just the percentage of your business they require just for the fact that you have the audacity to want to do this business in Oregon.
They also extract fees for licensing not only the wrestlers and the promoters , BUT THE TICKET TAKERS AND BOX OFFICES WORKERS. You have to be licensed by the commission just to work the door. To receive this license you are required to submit to state mandated drug testing as I understand it (or so the state regulatory statutes imply) All of which costs big fat wads of dough.
These monies go straight to the commission, and therein into the pockets of the state police, of which the Oregon state boxing and wrestling commission for seemingly no logical reason is a branch of. These monies help keep the commission and it's employees like Mr. Cassidy, the state commissioner ( a man I developed a good deal of respect for at the last pow super hero action show) well garbed and pleasantly shiny.
I can not imagine many business owners being willing to bend over for these kind of requirements. The olcc doesn't require a percentage of your neighborhood bars gross income. Same goes for damn near any other licensing board. And most importantly the idea of the state police themselves requiring you to pay them a fee to stay in business is too much akin to a government sanctioned shake down to give me my warm fuzzies.
This is what we in the civilian world refer to as extortion. In this bureaucracy they refer to this "your fee for the privilege of doing business in Oregon".
If it were the case that we performers were actually sportsmen competing for your pleasure then the situation might differ. We wouldn't have the rigid control over our shows that we do. We wouldn't have daily rehearsals. We wouldn't have predetermined winners. We wouldn't have two people facing off with their main goal being to make sure nothing untoward happens to their partner. We WOULD have to people beating the crap out of each other. But we don't have that. We have actors playing roples.They are performing a simplistic and wildly entertaining form of ritualized theater, and If a person can not see this then they are clearly choosing not to look.
As to Mr. Bradley's points concerning protecting the performers and audience, Yes, performers can get injured. And if this is adequate reason for the state government to step in and regulate what arts can and can not be performed then the Oregon ballet theater is in much greater need of control than a little night club show in Chinatown. We must institute a 7 day waiting period for the theatrical sword fight and lock those bastard touring circus frenchies up this minute. Physical theater causes injury. Ask anyone who has ever pursued a career in dance. Professional Dance is notoriously violent on the bodies of those that perform it and crippling to those who make a life of it. ALL FORMS OF PHYSICAL THEATER ARE PHYSICALLY INJUROUS. We bust our bodies to entertain others. That is why you come to see the show,.. because we are doing things, performing acts of beauty you yourself don't have the capability or inclination to.
As to the audience, they are in less danger at a pow show than they would be at a high school basketball game. And to be honest, the Commission doesn't really seem to have anything to say concerning audience safety in the state regulatory statues. We on the other hand cherish our drunken fan base and take extra steps to make sure our shows run both smoothly and safely.
In reality what we do is melodrama and nothing more. It is no more in need of government regulation than would be ballet or acrobatics or Urinetown. This is an art form,.. it might not be one you personally are capable of appreciating,.. but it is not a sport and should not be regulated by the state. And if everyone will just shut the hell up, we will give you a spectacular show and a decent excuse to come worship at the vulgar alter without having to admit to your friends that you watched smackdown on Thursday night.
If your lucky,.. maybe you'll get pied.
Abraham ******** Performer for the POW Superhero Action Show as Knotty Klown! Hillbilly Bear The Clone of Jesus Christ.