Soggy Biscuits (frla) wrote in cartoonviolence,
Soggy Biscuits

[REVEIW] *** Corno's Sunday July 7th ***

corno's hmmm

I made my second trip to the Corno's Sandy Barr wrestling Spectacular this week, with Garcia the goddamned dirty hippie, one of my housemates and fellow pow superhero action show heel.

We showed up late in the rain and alone as everyone else we knew assumed there would be no show.At 1:30 going on two the rain was still pissing down so we hit the conveniently located sandy barr flea market scabie farm and shopped for clown gear and girl scout badges, rolled around in piles of other peoples feces looking for decoder rings and porn movie props, and found very little inside that made that whopping 50 cent admission really seem reasonable.

We shopped until the hippie and I had bought all there was worth buying and ogled all the twelve year old girls there were to ogle and the stink of rotting hick and abscessed tooth began to become overpowering.

When we stumbled back into the lot, dancing Tommy Celcius , the hell bringer, was slowly flogging some quasi Anglo fucker named gentlemen something or other (as all bush league brits in any sport are required to call themselves until they find a better gimmick) Tommy beat him down with all the skill years of being dancing Tommy Celcius engenders in a man, and with a mighty Irish whip the limey hurled Tommy Celcius at mediocre speeds into the ropes, which responded detumescing under his mass, as a cable under the ring snapped clean and then came the screaming and the giggling and I honestly didn't pay much attention after that because it was too damned funny.
According to Garcia this is the second ring tommy has broken.
I like that Tommy C.

We ran to burger king for frozen lemonade while they fixed the ring and came back to that sideshow fellow working some fellah. I haven't the slightest idea who it was but there was a great deal of loud thumping and vertical suplexes and it was all followed up nicely by cc poison who stood around with the critter for a bit in the middle of the ring
Cc worked the crowd, the only one who did really, and stood around trading flips and holds with critter to the cheers of Vinnie Clean hands (who finally showed near the end of the show) and the jeering of a passel of 8 year old girls. (One of whom being one of the more appealing performers this Sunday and who was very fond of the epithet 'losers',.. I think she could be the next Hallie Kate Eisenberg with a little guidance and the right kind of molding,.. maybe a ritalin habit to keep her on the leash)

Critter on the other hand has taught me that no matter how much I want to I should never get my name tattooed to side of any part of my body at all.

I'm not sure who won.
In the end the security guard guy they had doing the announcing (who I believe was some kind of sex offender gimmick or some shit according to what people were saying) muttered incoherently for a bit and everyone left.

So assuming it was all done we went to my fathers place and got breakfast.
the special was steak and eggs
it was a bit rare but the waitress was hot.
Later I took a nap.

all in all it was a Sunday afternoon I spent standing in the rain appreciating the splendor that is Portland wrestling and trying for the life of me to understand what the difference is that Garcia see's between what these guys do and what we do,.. other than that we are funnier and they have a midget.

Hopefully next week will rock
just as much.

the only thing missing was a hot dog vendor and more guys from phcw,
and maybe more than just three matches per show.

not as nice a good sandwich
better than getting kicked in the balls.

( if I remember right rodeo cole from the now intensely defunct phcw wrestled too,..
whop the hell did he job to?
anyone know?)

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